Are you looking for new ideas to improve your relationship? Maybe you have a problem that keeps coming up and you can’t figure out how to fix it. You are not alone, problems are a normal part of life. And the good news is, there’s a lot of help out there these days.
How to Find Resources
Just as every person is different, so is every couple. There is not a one size fits all resource for marriage support, but all marriages will need support at one time or another. So you will have to put some effort into looking for what can help you and your relationship. Maybe weekly Webcasts or Podcasts will fit your lifestyle and give you the input you need. Maybe a book is more your style, or maybe you really feel you need a therapist. We recommend interviewing therapists before hiring one.
Wherever you decide to turn for help, just keep in mind that you are in the driver’s seat. The therapist, podcast, webcast, book or anything else has to resonate with you. You can accept some ideas and reject others. Keep an open heart and mind for what you can learn, but you don’t have to compromise your principles. You may have to change your thinking a little though, but that’s usually a good thing.
We did a quick Google search and came up with a smattering of resources to check into. These are just possibilities, a place to start, we aren’t specifically giving recommendations. You have to do the work to find the pieces that fit your life and relationship.
Marriage and family therapist, Liza Shaw, makes a good point. Is our concept of marriage outdated? Are our expectations for long term relationships relevant to the era we currently live in? Although these questions have been asked before, Liza has a more provocative answer than simply throwing marriage out the window.
A New Model for Relationships
How many role models do we have today of people who are in a long term thriving relationship? Not many. Why is that? We all go into marriage expecting to love our beloved forever, and then somewhere down the road things get a bit difficult. Could it be that our expectations were out of alignment with reality? Could a shift in perspective improve the longevity of marriages?
Liza looks at old paradigms of marriage expectations and puts a new twist on them. She shifts us from a “me” centered expectation of receiving love from our partner to an empowered understanding of how we contribute to love. Watch the 18 minute video, maybe even watch it two or three times. Then consider how a shift in perspective can improve your relationship.
Remember those fairy tales where the Prince and Princess got married and then lived “happily ever after”? Well, they were just fairy tales. Real life is not quite like that.
Love is like a seed, it needs care to grow. If you want your marriage to be a beautiful garden of love then you have to learn to be a good gardener. So we’ll be offering a few resources to help you out. Some you might have already come across, and some might be new.
The important thing is to keep investing in your relationship. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t assume things will get better on their own, and don’t assume it’s hopeless.
The Gottman Institute website is a resource for relationship building. One quick and easy way to get fresh input for your marriage is by signing up for Marriage Minute, a weekly newsletter with tools, videos, articles and exercises that will improve your marriage in 60 seconds. Sign up here: https://www.gottman.com/marriage-minute/